Staffroom Dynamics (The view of Kyoto Tower)
7th Sep, 2006
Japanese schools always struck me as rather rigid. That was before I came to Kumiyama, where everything is as free-flowing as a river under a bursting dam.
The staffroom has a front desk for students to wait at while they politely call a teacher over. And by ‘politely’ I of course mean pounding the desk with both hands while droning the name of the desired teacher in that grating nasal tone that only the Japanese can produce. My desk is situated directly in front of this gathering point, allowing me the privilege of conversing with every student that ventures so far. Some students drop by daily just to check out what I’m wearing. Others are determined to demonstrate the single new English word they’ve learned – happy, hungry, sleepy, boxing, highschool, irresponsible. Still others simply want attention. For the girls, this translates to a lot of ridiculous chatter and boisterous singing. For the boys, it tends to lean more towards physical comedy.
One lad discovered he could mimic a gondola using a bicycle pump, and would thus float back and forth past my desk, singing ‘Pom Pom Pooooooooooooom’. The older teachers were not impressed. I couldn’t stop laughing. I guess I’m asking for it because I laugh a lot – both at, and with – the students. Another sannensei boy threw himself bodily over the front desk, waving a broom and calling ‘I can see Kyoto Tower!’ until one of the more mature teachers calmly dragged him out by the collar and deposited him in the hallway.
The yamambas come in regularly just to chat and slack off. Yes, my school has its very own ganguro. On my first sighting, I was so excited I gasped, but refrained from pointing and shouting ‘Ganguro!’ so as to prevent offence. Of course, once the girls introduced themselves (‘I’m yamamba!’, ‘Me too!’) I realised that political correctness has no place in Japan.
I think we're expected to have a love-hate relationship with the students. Last week, the school nurse and I were discussing how painfully cute the ichinensei were, being so tiny and shy. She proceeded to offer kindly: 'Would you like one as a pet? You can have a pet ichinensei for your apartment'. It's not every day that I'm given the chance to adopt a small asian boy to be a part of my home decor. I should write IKEA to suggest this for their next catalogue. But compare that to this week, when Miss O, one of my English teachers, told me it was perfectly ok to bring a car to school and drive around the hallways running over students.
Hopefully before long I'll be able to find the correct equilibrium between making pets of the students, or roadkill.
Japanese schools always struck me as rather rigid. That was before I came to Kumiyama, where everything is as free-flowing as a river under a bursting dam.
The staffroom has a front desk for students to wait at while they politely call a teacher over. And by ‘politely’ I of course mean pounding the desk with both hands while droning the name of the desired teacher in that grating nasal tone that only the Japanese can produce. My desk is situated directly in front of this gathering point, allowing me the privilege of conversing with every student that ventures so far. Some students drop by daily just to check out what I’m wearing. Others are determined to demonstrate the single new English word they’ve learned – happy, hungry, sleepy, boxing, highschool, irresponsible. Still others simply want attention. For the girls, this translates to a lot of ridiculous chatter and boisterous singing. For the boys, it tends to lean more towards physical comedy.
One lad discovered he could mimic a gondola using a bicycle pump, and would thus float back and forth past my desk, singing ‘Pom Pom Pooooooooooooom’. The older teachers were not impressed. I couldn’t stop laughing. I guess I’m asking for it because I laugh a lot – both at, and with – the students. Another sannensei boy threw himself bodily over the front desk, waving a broom and calling ‘I can see Kyoto Tower!’ until one of the more mature teachers calmly dragged him out by the collar and deposited him in the hallway.
The yamambas come in regularly just to chat and slack off. Yes, my school has its very own ganguro. On my first sighting, I was so excited I gasped, but refrained from pointing and shouting ‘Ganguro!’ so as to prevent offence. Of course, once the girls introduced themselves (‘I’m yamamba!’, ‘Me too!’) I realised that political correctness has no place in Japan.
I think we're expected to have a love-hate relationship with the students. Last week, the school nurse and I were discussing how painfully cute the ichinensei were, being so tiny and shy. She proceeded to offer kindly: 'Would you like one as a pet? You can have a pet ichinensei for your apartment'. It's not every day that I'm given the chance to adopt a small asian boy to be a part of my home decor. I should write IKEA to suggest this for their next catalogue. But compare that to this week, when Miss O, one of my English teachers, told me it was perfectly ok to bring a car to school and drive around the hallways running over students.
Hopefully before long I'll be able to find the correct equilibrium between making pets of the students, or roadkill.
I'm so envious. Just wait until I get over there!!
Posted by Jess | 9:03 PM
Oh deary. Amy-chan's Gaijin Smash is not a good thing to read about at work, when you have to desperately try not to laugh as loud as you'd want to.
You are muchly, muchly missed, and I'm so sorry I haven't mailed you anything yet! I will have a surprise for you come Manifest, though!
Much love,
Sefie
Posted by Sefie | 11:14 AM
Hopefully before long I'll be able to find the correct equilibrium
Why would you want equilibrium? Flying spinning from one end to another confused and giddy is way more fun.
Posted by Nic | 1:40 PM
XD hahahaha, oh man a-chan, your stories are just so awesome (as always) :3
Sounding like you're having a ball, I look forward to more tales from the ghetto! XD
Posted by Sly the magical brow playa | 7:21 PM
What are you wearing to school that makes the students so eager to check out your clothes?
Posted by Rocke | 7:33 PM
I want to meet the student with the broom for he amuses me ever so slightly
Posted by Kitsune | 11:04 PM
I'd so make an awesome english teacher =]
"[How do you say "I'm surprised and amused"]"
"WTF LOL!"
Posted by Mitchell | 1:44 AM