Student Body Breakdown (The joys and horrors of what you’re all missing)
In order to make things easier to understand and refer to, I’ve decided to define the general student groups in my school. Some of these are typical stereotypes you’d find in any school (or anime for that matter), and some are just little bonuses unique to my school.
Yankees
Yankees are fantastic, provided you’re watching them on TV, or at least from a safe distance. In real life they’re total brats. My school has 2 yankee girls and about 5 yankee boys. They’re characterized by bleached orange hair, volumised and spiked up ridiculously with enough product to smother a cow, a smattering of silver jewellery, and replacing the school shirt with a long t-shirt bearing some sort of slogan. That, and the patented yankee sneer.
The Yankees attend school only to cause trouble. If someone’s getting beaten up, you can be fairly certain it’s a yankee throwing the punches. They come to class late and spend the time shouting, climbing out the windows or walking around pretending to be a teacher and doing all in their power to distract the rest of the class. It’s very hard to build a repoire with them because they pretty much look at you with death in their eyes. They like my sunglasses though.
Yamambas
What can I say, they’re delinquents. They have blonde hair and crazy tans and loose socks and too much makeup. But they’re amusing. The just seem to have lost some important brain functions at some point that make them completely spaced out and just a little angry about it. When everyone is rehearsing marches for the sports festival, they’re breaking up the formation doing para-para. Instead of working in class, they’re glueing sequins to their fingernails. But I love them. I’m not sure why yet.
Comedians
The comedian culture in Japan is rampant. Actors adopt an ‘all-round’ approach, establishing a quirky character and appearing on gameshows, variety shows, idol challenges, cooking programs and talk shows. Some students model themselves after such behaviour, particularly here in Kansai, the home of true (Osaka) humour. These kids are a riot. My favourite comedian is ‘Johnny Deppa’ – his real name is something far less interesting, but he chose this title for himself in my first week, after I told my students my boyfriend was Johnny Depp to get them off my case. Please note the subtle difference of Johnny Deppa. He feels the need to point that out a lot.
Anyway, Johnny Deppa. This was the same boy who gondola’d past my desk singing with a bicycle pump. If someone says something he believes to be outrageous, he’ll slap them with a dramatic ‘Na’n de yo ne!’ (A trademark Osaka-style comedic move, meaing ‘What are you talking about?’), or throw himself onto the ground with a wail as if he’s been socked in the face. He always wears an enormous grin, and will frequently humiliate himself for the benefit of others, whether it be wearing his gym shorts for a bonnet or pretending to commit suicide from the 2nd-storey window. When it comes to our interactions, he lives or dies depending on whether I give him a hi-5.
Pyscho Girls
These are mostly sannensei as they’re the most ballsy. In most schools these would be referred to as ‘genki’ students. But my school is in the ghetto, and thus, they are psycho. Happy, but psycho. They communicate everything in mad screams and with much gusto, they spontaneously break into dances or games in the hallway. They’re the best source of gossip, usually because they’re the ones that start it. But they’re fun. They’re loud. They’re always the ones making a public commentary on my dress-sense or teasing me about being girlfriended to Johnny Deppa or the Australian exchange student.
Otaku
You can pick them out a mile off. The shirt’s tucked in too far, the hair’s limp and dull, they’re shy, keep their head down and generally try to avoid anyone figuring out they exist. But mention you share a few of their hobbies and watch their faces light up. It’s adorable in its own geeky way.
Sports Girls
These are a pretty textbook anime stereotype. They’re often slightly taller, their hair is cut boyishly short, they’re energetic, hard-working and strong-willed, but good students and delightfully friendly. The true stars have their own little fanclubs when they train. They’re role models for younger students. It saddens me, because these are the girls that should be tomorrow’s leaders, not tomorrow’s housewives.
Kendo Boys
Kendo’s huge in my school. Kumiyama actually took first place in some national junior high tournament this Summer (I don’t know the details, crazy kanji). Probably 10% of my male students are in the kendo club. And you can tell. When a kid with his head shaved to a #2 stands up to introduce himself, you just know that after his name, the first words out of his mouth are going to be ‘I’m in kendo club’. Personally I love their little fuzzy heads.
The president of the kendo club is Thorpie (did I mention I can’t remember their names? They love the English nickname game though, which suits me just fine). He’s the resident sports star, good at everything and with the build of an athlete. He’s a good student and friendly to all his underclassmen. Most kendo club kids tend to be good students, what with the discipline it teaches. The only problem is the kendo twins.
Aaah, the kendo twins. Two sannensei boys who look identical. Now, I’m pretty good at telling Japanese kids apart, but these two (with matching buzzcuts) just elude me. They’re in separate classes; I don’t know if they even know each other outside of kendo club. One of them is the most wonderful student ever. He’s earnest, kind, always makes a point of talking to me and encouraging me after class, helps me clean the board and sort my notes – a total sweetheart. His twin is – excuse the expression – a little bastard. This kid will turn hyperactive for no particular reason and start merrily beating up on other students or shouting nonsense. He won’t work in class and is likely to throw cleaning equipment at anyone who looks at him funny in the hallway. You do not engage this student.
The problem is, until they open their mouths, I can’t tell them apart, except for one saving grace – bastard boy has an earring. A tiny crystal stud in his left ear. It’s like something out a film. I’ll see a kendo twin walking up the hallway… should I wave? Should I pretend I don’t see him? I begin to raise my hand in a greeting, but I still can’t see him properly, I can’t tell… then I see that fated glimmer of flashing crystal as he turns his head. GASP! THE EARRING! It’s bastard boy! Abort! Abort!
Bad Girls
They’re known as the Bad Girls. At least that’s how they’ll be described to you, whether it be teachers, students, or the class pet. They’re not bad news for me, just for everyone else.
Bad Girls always have long, beautiful hair. This is because Bad Girls don’t belong to any clubs. In fact, as a general rule, if you want to figure out who the nice kids are in a school, look at the length of their hair – the shorter, the better. Bad Girls set the standard for short skirts, and come second only to the yamamba in their use of makeup. The Bad Girls are beautiful, and they’re bitches. They lock other students in lockers or toilet stalls or closets and degrade them verbally while banging on the door. Bad Girls breeze into class late as if making their appearance at a gala event. They’re too cool to get excited.
The Bad Girls are difficult for me, because we get along just fine and have fun chatting, but in the back of my mind I’m always remembering the last girl they tortured.
Yankees
Yankees are fantastic, provided you’re watching them on TV, or at least from a safe distance. In real life they’re total brats. My school has 2 yankee girls and about 5 yankee boys. They’re characterized by bleached orange hair, volumised and spiked up ridiculously with enough product to smother a cow, a smattering of silver jewellery, and replacing the school shirt with a long t-shirt bearing some sort of slogan. That, and the patented yankee sneer.
The Yankees attend school only to cause trouble. If someone’s getting beaten up, you can be fairly certain it’s a yankee throwing the punches. They come to class late and spend the time shouting, climbing out the windows or walking around pretending to be a teacher and doing all in their power to distract the rest of the class. It’s very hard to build a repoire with them because they pretty much look at you with death in their eyes. They like my sunglasses though.
Yamambas
What can I say, they’re delinquents. They have blonde hair and crazy tans and loose socks and too much makeup. But they’re amusing. The just seem to have lost some important brain functions at some point that make them completely spaced out and just a little angry about it. When everyone is rehearsing marches for the sports festival, they’re breaking up the formation doing para-para. Instead of working in class, they’re glueing sequins to their fingernails. But I love them. I’m not sure why yet.
Comedians
The comedian culture in Japan is rampant. Actors adopt an ‘all-round’ approach, establishing a quirky character and appearing on gameshows, variety shows, idol challenges, cooking programs and talk shows. Some students model themselves after such behaviour, particularly here in Kansai, the home of true (Osaka) humour. These kids are a riot. My favourite comedian is ‘Johnny Deppa’ – his real name is something far less interesting, but he chose this title for himself in my first week, after I told my students my boyfriend was Johnny Depp to get them off my case. Please note the subtle difference of Johnny Deppa. He feels the need to point that out a lot.
Anyway, Johnny Deppa. This was the same boy who gondola’d past my desk singing with a bicycle pump. If someone says something he believes to be outrageous, he’ll slap them with a dramatic ‘Na’n de yo ne!’ (A trademark Osaka-style comedic move, meaing ‘What are you talking about?’), or throw himself onto the ground with a wail as if he’s been socked in the face. He always wears an enormous grin, and will frequently humiliate himself for the benefit of others, whether it be wearing his gym shorts for a bonnet or pretending to commit suicide from the 2nd-storey window. When it comes to our interactions, he lives or dies depending on whether I give him a hi-5.
Pyscho Girls
These are mostly sannensei as they’re the most ballsy. In most schools these would be referred to as ‘genki’ students. But my school is in the ghetto, and thus, they are psycho. Happy, but psycho. They communicate everything in mad screams and with much gusto, they spontaneously break into dances or games in the hallway. They’re the best source of gossip, usually because they’re the ones that start it. But they’re fun. They’re loud. They’re always the ones making a public commentary on my dress-sense or teasing me about being girlfriended to Johnny Deppa or the Australian exchange student.
Otaku
You can pick them out a mile off. The shirt’s tucked in too far, the hair’s limp and dull, they’re shy, keep their head down and generally try to avoid anyone figuring out they exist. But mention you share a few of their hobbies and watch their faces light up. It’s adorable in its own geeky way.
Sports Girls
These are a pretty textbook anime stereotype. They’re often slightly taller, their hair is cut boyishly short, they’re energetic, hard-working and strong-willed, but good students and delightfully friendly. The true stars have their own little fanclubs when they train. They’re role models for younger students. It saddens me, because these are the girls that should be tomorrow’s leaders, not tomorrow’s housewives.
Kendo Boys
Kendo’s huge in my school. Kumiyama actually took first place in some national junior high tournament this Summer (I don’t know the details, crazy kanji). Probably 10% of my male students are in the kendo club. And you can tell. When a kid with his head shaved to a #2 stands up to introduce himself, you just know that after his name, the first words out of his mouth are going to be ‘I’m in kendo club’. Personally I love their little fuzzy heads.
The president of the kendo club is Thorpie (did I mention I can’t remember their names? They love the English nickname game though, which suits me just fine). He’s the resident sports star, good at everything and with the build of an athlete. He’s a good student and friendly to all his underclassmen. Most kendo club kids tend to be good students, what with the discipline it teaches. The only problem is the kendo twins.
Aaah, the kendo twins. Two sannensei boys who look identical. Now, I’m pretty good at telling Japanese kids apart, but these two (with matching buzzcuts) just elude me. They’re in separate classes; I don’t know if they even know each other outside of kendo club. One of them is the most wonderful student ever. He’s earnest, kind, always makes a point of talking to me and encouraging me after class, helps me clean the board and sort my notes – a total sweetheart. His twin is – excuse the expression – a little bastard. This kid will turn hyperactive for no particular reason and start merrily beating up on other students or shouting nonsense. He won’t work in class and is likely to throw cleaning equipment at anyone who looks at him funny in the hallway. You do not engage this student.
The problem is, until they open their mouths, I can’t tell them apart, except for one saving grace – bastard boy has an earring. A tiny crystal stud in his left ear. It’s like something out a film. I’ll see a kendo twin walking up the hallway… should I wave? Should I pretend I don’t see him? I begin to raise my hand in a greeting, but I still can’t see him properly, I can’t tell… then I see that fated glimmer of flashing crystal as he turns his head. GASP! THE EARRING! It’s bastard boy! Abort! Abort!
Bad Girls
They’re known as the Bad Girls. At least that’s how they’ll be described to you, whether it be teachers, students, or the class pet. They’re not bad news for me, just for everyone else.
Bad Girls always have long, beautiful hair. This is because Bad Girls don’t belong to any clubs. In fact, as a general rule, if you want to figure out who the nice kids are in a school, look at the length of their hair – the shorter, the better. Bad Girls set the standard for short skirts, and come second only to the yamamba in their use of makeup. The Bad Girls are beautiful, and they’re bitches. They lock other students in lockers or toilet stalls or closets and degrade them verbally while banging on the door. Bad Girls breeze into class late as if making their appearance at a gala event. They’re too cool to get excited.
The Bad Girls are difficult for me, because we get along just fine and have fun chatting, but in the back of my mind I’m always remembering the last girl they tortured.
I must say that is one of the most informative and memorable (mainly as i can imagine myself meeting all of these students soon and how i could react to them..) posts so far, i quite liked it. The only thing i didn't like was how you ended it...the whole post is very funny and great and then to have the bad girls last leaves a bad image in my mind, it's a bit disturbing..
xox
Posted by Lizwah | 10:10 PM
Ah... This is why I put this webpage under my "Entertainment" bookmarks...
- (ShinoMatrix)
Posted by Anonymous | 9:00 PM
Heeheeheehee. Somebody needs to start one of those internet personality quizzes--"What Type of Japanese SchoolKid Are You?"
Yamamba. Definitely Yamamba.
Posted by Rachel McKeown | 9:08 AM
I remember when I was in school. I was a bad girl.
Posted by Clyde | 9:18 AM
The Japanese guy who works at the bar up the road from me said I am a bad girl, cause I was saying dirty things in Japanese and pretending not to know what they meant for gaijin amusement. Bukkake anyone?
Posted by Keleidogamer | 3:18 PM