We work all night and scream all day (how to induce panic in a Japanese Junior High school)
Being located next to the staffroom door, I get the pleasure of being the first to hear what’s going on in the hallway. Usually it’s a screaming matching between some of the psycho girls. The other day, however, I heard boys. The way these kids were screaming, you’d guess someone had just poured petrol down their pants and was chasing them with a match. I peeked out the door to see what the commotion was about, and there’s a group of a dozen sannensei boys going out of control down the hallway. Even by Kumichu standards, they appear to have gone completely insane; jumping up the walls, standing in the sinks, leaping on top of each other in a mad panic.
I turn back to the staffroom expectantly, hoping for some explanation, but the other teachers are so used to this by now that the students could be performing Riverdance in S&M bondage uniforms while reciting the Ghettysburg address, and the staff still wouldn’t look up. Alone in my quest for the truth, I trot down the hallway just in time to watch the boys scramble through the classroom door. I poke my head in and enquire as to what the noise was about, but the boys just stare at me, wild-eyed, evidently too traumatised to speak.
To my relief, O-sensei, the third-grade teacher, pokes her head in beside me. When I repeat the question to her, and she looks at me blankly (as is her custom) and answers in her impressive American English:
‘Oh. They are scared of a cockroach’.
I look from O-sensei, to the terrified sannensei boys, then back again.
‘Seriously?’
‘Oh yes. All boys are scared of bugs.’
Since when? I know back in Australia, if a 14-year-old ran screaming from a cockroach he’d have his masculinity and sexuality called into question, before being dunked head-first into the nearest toilet. Maybe Japanese kids are just skiddish. But hang on, didn’t I see every elementary schooler in the neighbourhood carrying around a plastic box of insect trophies all Summer? Something doesn’t add up, but O-sensei has a class to teach, so I retreat to the staffroom to quiz one of the other teachers about this whole boy-bug relationship. When I open the staffroom door, however, I am faced with pandemonium.
All the teachers are on their feet. Some are screaming. Some are running in seemingly random directions. Some are shouting at each other. No one’s paying attention when I ask what on earth is going on. Has every living being in the school been infused with the spirit of insanity today?
I catch one of the female teaches by the arm as she stumbles past, forcing her to stop and fill me in. It’s one of the youngest teachers, and she actually looks like she’s about to cry. But at least she manages to spit out that there’s a cockroach in the staffroom. I must be wearing the world’s greatest ‘What the…?’ expression, but no one notices. They’re all focused on Potato-sensei, who’s decided to be the man and catch the thing (with chopsticks, no less), which has somehow found its way into KissMe’s desk. When he finally squashes it and the staff breathe a collective sigh of relief, I just burst out laughing. I can’t believe how much power the cockroaches have over this school, and it strikes me as downright hilarious. The first-grade teacher looks on with the most solemn expression I’ve ever seen her wear, and says heavily ‘Why are they here. Why have they come to our planet’.
I try to hold it in, I really do, but considering this adorable little Japanese woman has just delivered a line that sounds like it was stolen from Independence Day, over a cockroach no less… I end up on the floor.
I turn back to the staffroom expectantly, hoping for some explanation, but the other teachers are so used to this by now that the students could be performing Riverdance in S&M bondage uniforms while reciting the Ghettysburg address, and the staff still wouldn’t look up. Alone in my quest for the truth, I trot down the hallway just in time to watch the boys scramble through the classroom door. I poke my head in and enquire as to what the noise was about, but the boys just stare at me, wild-eyed, evidently too traumatised to speak.
To my relief, O-sensei, the third-grade teacher, pokes her head in beside me. When I repeat the question to her, and she looks at me blankly (as is her custom) and answers in her impressive American English:
‘Oh. They are scared of a cockroach’.
I look from O-sensei, to the terrified sannensei boys, then back again.
‘Seriously?’
‘Oh yes. All boys are scared of bugs.’
Since when? I know back in Australia, if a 14-year-old ran screaming from a cockroach he’d have his masculinity and sexuality called into question, before being dunked head-first into the nearest toilet. Maybe Japanese kids are just skiddish. But hang on, didn’t I see every elementary schooler in the neighbourhood carrying around a plastic box of insect trophies all Summer? Something doesn’t add up, but O-sensei has a class to teach, so I retreat to the staffroom to quiz one of the other teachers about this whole boy-bug relationship. When I open the staffroom door, however, I am faced with pandemonium.
All the teachers are on their feet. Some are screaming. Some are running in seemingly random directions. Some are shouting at each other. No one’s paying attention when I ask what on earth is going on. Has every living being in the school been infused with the spirit of insanity today?
I catch one of the female teaches by the arm as she stumbles past, forcing her to stop and fill me in. It’s one of the youngest teachers, and she actually looks like she’s about to cry. But at least she manages to spit out that there’s a cockroach in the staffroom. I must be wearing the world’s greatest ‘What the…?’ expression, but no one notices. They’re all focused on Potato-sensei, who’s decided to be the man and catch the thing (with chopsticks, no less), which has somehow found its way into KissMe’s desk. When he finally squashes it and the staff breathe a collective sigh of relief, I just burst out laughing. I can’t believe how much power the cockroaches have over this school, and it strikes me as downright hilarious. The first-grade teacher looks on with the most solemn expression I’ve ever seen her wear, and says heavily ‘Why are they here. Why have they come to our planet’.
I try to hold it in, I really do, but considering this adorable little Japanese woman has just delivered a line that sounds like it was stolen from Independence Day, over a cockroach no less… I end up on the floor.
I've got to admit that I've been really surprised at how... "girlie" for want of a better word, Japanese boys are. The girls are girlie too, but the boys (and men) don't seem to be that much better.
Masayuki was freaking out about going to the toilet on his own when we were in a park at night because of "Hanako" an old ghost story about a girl ghost who lives under/in toilets in dark, quiet/remote areas. He wanted Satoh to go with him. >_< I said if he screamed I'd run in and rescue him. It was particularly funny when he asked if I would be ok going on my own. When the block was like... 20 metres away.
Posted by Anonymous | 7:40 AM
Oh- and that was Zedstar
Posted by Anonymous | 7:41 AM
OMG... That is so hilarious A-chan ^_^ lol, that would have been a sight to see!
Posted by angelic_vampire | 4:17 PM